I Can't Think of Any Proper Titles, and Wish List

Why is it so hard being your fan, Yesung?  

To see your precious talent get wasted by SM.  To see how much you're actually not loved by ELF. To see how you've been dieting non-stop for 7 years, basically leaving your body like a skinny stick.  To hear your fellow members sometimes act so disrespectful to you though you're their hyung.  To know that you're sick, severely injured your body yet you still insisted to dance like it's nothing.  To know that you're super lonely.

Actually these few months i've been happy for you.  Happy since it seems like you've found another girl to love beside your ex that i despise.  I was happy to know that she's like, totally into you, people said things about she's got a long-time crush for you and finally you two are together.  I saw your sex muscles on the back of your palm and i was glad that "hey you're having sex regularly now Yesung, it's healthy for a man your age and good for you, mentally and physically."  I was proud of you for having her.  She is physically gorgeous, even without make-up and she's quite more real than another female idols (still PS but well, only minors) and so many Koreans like her.  She's like well-round in acting, singing, dancing, MC-ing, everything.  I heard so many male idols are having a crush with her yeah but she apparently chose you.  I think you're lucky..  Until these days.

With all these shits going about her, I can't keep my thinkings straight.  I actually had sensed something's not right about her the first time i knew about her 'first' scandal.  OMG, why would you still want her?  But then i think you know her more than we fans do.  You're in the more legitimate position to judge her.  I'm sure you have your own reason to accept her for the way she is.  I trusted you in this.. i accepted (i know i'm not in the position to say 'accept' here LOL but whatever) and supported you both with all my heart.  You can almost count me as a shipper haha.

Then just a few days a go her scandal with her bandmates surfaced.  This scandal was really serious, bullying your own member is officially a taboo as an idol but yes, apparently she and her friends do that all the time.  And just before i read about how she treats her parents and my jaw dropped.  Aww really?  And she said that in public.. i just can't..  But then i thought of her as a teenager.  Well basically almost every girl on their teenage has problems with their parents so i let her go with that.  But this scandal this time is really overbearing.  So many proofs that she is rude and scary (i really know that she's super ambitious, but bullying is a lot different) so i lost it.  I'm breaking inside.

She's most likely not a good girl at all, Yesung.  I think you need to really know that since i know you didn't know!  What you said on recent Come to Play with Sobangcha about your ideal girl really broke my heart.  Your "Innocent and pure girl who likes me" was totally... killing me.  That's how you see her, i know it.  Be her your girlfriend or not, it totally described her in every single bit.  So many of her fans claim her as "Our innocent baby maknae", "she may appear arrogant but she's actually this carefree and cheerful bb," and by the gossips floating in the air, obviously she's the one who chased you down to get your heart.  Your mother said the way to get your heart is by really taking care of you and yes it's obvious she really cares shit about you, Yesung.  

I know how much a girl act differently in front of their crush/lover over their friends.  I guess she's always been an innocent pure girl who is funny, cheerful and flirty with her way of calling you "Oppa..." and really taking care of you and your family (visiting Jongjin on his birthday.. oh yes so sweet of her).  I never once doubt her love and care for you Yesung but she's actually not as good as she seems.  She is mean, probably bratty, arrogant and such..  I can not imagine how will you have a future together with her..

A lot of people bashed you for being "pedo", "too old more like her uncle than boyfriend", but i actually know you're the type of man who is really caring.  I guess you can understand her attitude as a teenager and keeping her company.  But now i don't know if you even know that much about her, basing on that CTP interview.  Seems like she's far from innocent and pure, like what you always think about her.  

I know as a fan, probably i don't know as much as you know about her.  Probably i can not give you the same amount of love and happiness she always give you.  But i seriously can not see your serious future together.  You're going to enter the army on a few months, and like Leeteuk, probably you are now in search for a 'stable girlfriend'.  But seriously Yesung.. i don't think the girl you're currently dating is a good person.  If she could be so mean bullying her 'friend' on varieties, how scary is she as a bully offcam?  

I hope you're not planning to be serious with her.  I'm sure there are so many better girls out there baby, with beautiful face and better personality than her.  Well I'm counted as your ideal type too, since i am pure, innocent, and i DO love you ROFLMAO.  Try to look at me once? ;p

And idk if it's just my feelings.  I notice you changed so much physically.  You're skinnier than ever.  You're never this skinny!  Ok you start to be skinnier in early 2011 when you do Sukira, but in 2012, and moreover these days, your body is really seems not healthy.  You're getting too attached to your phone.  You were texting, anytime anywhere, like a nerd.  Sometimes i spotted you with annoyed face while playing with your phone.  And your nose-filler!  I never know nose-filler needed for medicl reason.  Ah, i still can't get over your nose Yesungie :( 

I have so many wish for you.  

For you to always be healthy.. stop your stupid diet already, you're not a girlband member for God's sake Yesung!  You don't need to be 46kg!!!  That's basically killing yourself, since you're a man (being sexist is important if you know how different man and woman's bodies are eh).  Being 58kg is already unhealthy for you.  Don't ever think Clouds are buying your shit of "I'm not that thin" ah seriously Yesung.. you need to eat more T--T  You need some proteins, carbo, whatever but i really want you to stop your diet.  Go gain your muscles back, and stop go to the gym.  You won't die if you didn't exercise for a day baby, and for fuck's sake you probably have no more muscles to get shaped.  You barely have any calories to burn in your tiny body.  LOL.  What are you searching for?  Your body is in the best shape now, in the fact of how skinny you are already.  Don't drink too much soft drinks (eww that Coca-cola Zero... it's a killer Yeyebb!).  Pure water and fruit juice are the best.  I think you also need NOT TO IGNORE YOUR BACKPAIN.  Oppa, my dear oppa, please please don't ever force yourself again to perform while your backpain/any injuries were killing you inside.  It really hurts to just read how much you screamed in frustration and to finally see your suppressed pained expression on TV.  Urgh.  And about your throat, i hope it's already fully recovered by now..  It killed me to read your tweet, struggling with your throat condition!  You will never understand us as your fans don't you Yeye? :(

For you to be successful in everything you do.. i'm proud of you with WhyStyle and Handel & Gretel!  Seems like business are doing well baby?  I really love to see your passionate tweets regarding YStyle newest spectacles or phone case, your pictures while servicing customers in HG as a overly handsome cashier..  You're so passionate & dedicated, i can't help but feeling happy and always wish you luck.  Hopefully you can make both of your parents happy!  I also really proud of you because look at you, you have lesser activities than the other SuJu members but you can pursue so many things, more than them.  A good apartmen in Seoul, 2 stores in such pretigious locations of Seoul (Myeongdong and near the KBS building?), also you have provided yourself a car.  I get it that your car isn't the most pretigious that's because you're pursuing business for your parents and i went "aww so sweet" hehehe.  I hope in the future, everything will be fine.  Your businesses to be successful in the future.

I will never stop hoping for your singing career too.  I really think you deserve a full solo album, Yeye!  A full ballad/rock ballad will suit you.  You don't need to dance since your voice is already full of charm..  Probably before you enlist?  At least a KRY full album also will be good for now.  You're considered as a hella great singer already, my baby u*u  I hope you will also successful as a singer in the future :)

For you to be lucky in love.. i don't want you to be a player (well who wants that?) and i really, really hope you can find a good girl for your future.  I hate your ex since you seemed really sad whenever you're thinking or talking about her.  I'm not really sure if i can still support your current girl, but i only wish for your happiness.  As long as you're happy, i will support you.  I hope you know what is best for you.  I hope you are a better judge than me since you're the one involved..  But i really want you to think clearly and listen to your deepest feelings.  I hope true love will come to you and make you more lively by the day.

For you to get more respect..  i don't know actually what's wrong with you but your bandmates seems like they're always side-eyeing you.  Seems like they are thinking lightly about you and barely respecting you.  I hate that.  Can't you act a little bit more reserved so those partners of yours respect you like what you deserve?  It's sad to see them cutting your speech, refusef to give you michrophones to speak, and totally mocking you like you're a completely useless man.  I know that's the way they show their affections to you, by teasing you, but it's just hurts.. big times, when they acted like you're unreliable at all.  Sometimes i wanna teach them some respect myself.  Huh.

Ah enough for tonight i guess.. I love you Yesung, i do and i will always do.  Remember this ok?  Please never make me sad again baby.. Prove it to me that it's easy to love you, that "Loving Yesung is the shortcut to happiness." like what you said.