You Still Love Singing, Right?

Being a singer is one of Yesung's biggest dream since he was very young.  But his fortune only brought him to be a lead vocalist of an idol group.  I don't know whether he's glad or satisfied enough with this position because all he kept saying was
he's thankful for his Mom's effort in applying him to SM.  I think what Yesung really wants to be is a SINGER singer, a part of vocal group or a soloist, not an idol who also have to dance beside singing.  I think so because he's really fond of Boyz II Men, a group mainly known for vocal and ballads, and if you watched Miracle for You, you'll know that Yesung also only follow South Korean's balladeers, because he really love ballads such as I Even Loved The Pain.  He sang Big Mama's famous ballad Resignation as his solo perform in SS2, and is bestfriend with Lee Sejoon from Yurisangja because of their duet in The Greatest Story All Over The World.  He doesn't even follow girlgroups songs like most male idols do, and he didn't even know the lyrics of Gee.

I always thought he's somehow really disappointed when he debuted with SuJu.  Well, he really got most of the singing parts, the hardest as well, but with barely any coverage whatsoever for his talent.  His lines aren't proper enough for such kind of precious voice and he kept on being deserted by the cameras, and worse, he had to also dance along to a choreo--which apparently he hates too because he can't dance and he only take dancing as gag material.  So naturally i think he's going to totally pursue his singing career, not to be trapped to dance his whole life.

But lately he's changed.  His singing changed.  Sure his voice wasn't as hoarse as he first debuted (watch Saranghalkke), his voice now is considered smooth by my ears, but still powerful.  But still, he's worse compared to, say, 2010.  I don't know if it's because of his restrained throat during the end of 2011 (A-Cha promotion, that's really heavy adlibs he got there, no wonder he hurt his throat) or that he's slowly giving up his dream as a singer for real.  None of the possibilities are good, but at least it's not as disappointing if he changed because of his throat rather than he's giving up in singing properly, right.  I think it's really possible that he's currently discouraged in singing, because his newest solo in 2013 Gray Paper was not as popular as It Has To Be You back then in 2010.

He repeatedly mentioned how disappointed he was because the drama would play his song's instrumental more than his own singing.  But i think he's also disappointed than the other OST of that drama which was sung by his hoobae from SM is more popular nationally than his, just because it's her who sang the song.  His hoobae's ost was more popular because that person herself is more popular than Yesung in SK.  I only guess tho, because Yesung was really bitter this time.  Remember Yesung's ost Just For One Day?  That song was only played 2x in the drama and i didn't hear him saying anything about that.  Or actually he's just disappointed because of the instrumental?  Only God knows...

His throat was the reason he did some surgery to his nose, plus inserting filler but if that's really the case, then it means that his voice was never fully recovered from the disease since he's still sounds too nasally sometimes.  Check this perform of Gray Paper in SS5 Seoul fancam and you will understand what i mean.  His voice sometimes didn't hit the correct note and were false.  That made me squirming uncomfortably in my seat, since i always really pay attention to his notes.  But you can compare that perform to the PERFECT live performance in KBS of the same song!  How different those 2 performs are.  Okay, perhaps the fancam is not as good as the KBS performance because of the studio and concert sound system's difference, but i think the fancam does its fair judge of his voice since it's so clear and barely has no echos.

Those 2 performs of Gray Paper really make me think after i watched the official video of KRY's Gray Paper in SS5.  In this KRY cut, Yesung's parts were taken from video cuts that appeared on the big screen from the performance in SS5 Seoul, right?  I also thought so at the beginning.  I was spazzing like "omg kyuhyun's voice sounds so pale compared to yesung's here assffdgfahaadsafSGATHJ!!" but then i realized that Yesung's voices used in that video are taken from the official MP3 of Gray Paper, while the screen was showing cut of Yesung singing in SS5 Seoul live!  The cut was dubbed.  If you don't believe me, try it yourself.  They sound completely different if you know how Yesung sings.

I'm disappointed.  Why should that KRY performance dubbed Yesung's part from MP3?  There are some possibilities.  It could be that

• SM didn't have any decent footage of Yesung's perform in SS5 Seoul--hence the recorded sound quality was bad, 
• or perhaps SM/KyuWook/Yesung himself thought that Yesung's voice in that live in SS5 Seoul was not up to his usual standard (too nasally and false in so many points) 

so that they have to take the voice cuts from the perfect recorded MP3.

That fancam of SS5 Seoul solo was one of the factor that made me think that Yesung is really discouraged in pursuing his singing career other than ones i've already mentioned above.  Could it be that Yesung was half-assing his singing that day?  I mean, Yesung could really do super duper perfect singing like the unedited perform of The More I Love in Immortal Song 2, but listen to this DVD version of The More I Love, SS4 Tokyo and compare them.  The late one, in SS4, was worse than the IS2 perform in terms of vocal quality.  I don't know whether Yesung was discouraged because in front of ELF, most of them weren't listening or enjoying the song since they're too busy screaming.  While on TV, people in SK are like vicious hawks, ready to harass any member of the "trashy" boyband Super Junior so Yesung was super duper anxious and thus gave his best effort to avoid criticism and gain more recognition and respect from the general public?  Or, his singing quality in Super Shows were lower just because he's lazy or too busy in business to practice singing?  Hm?  It could also be, right?

I don't think of Yesung as a saint, he has his own fair share of weakness too like his laziness in dancing (lol remember Eunhyuk told Yesung to practice dancing properly?), and God knows discouraged people could also lost their passion even in their favorite activity.  His businesses are also developing and boss Yesung is busy doing business meetings with his partners, i know, probably he didn't really have the time to practice anymore?

Another mistery of Yesung's singing is 04292013 SS4 Jakarta For One Day.  I was there in MEIS Ancol and i thought, "why do you sing like that Yesung?  completely out of tune!" it was so different from any other Yesung's performs because the notes were far too high compared to the music so it wasn't balanced.  So weird.  And that's the only time i had ever hear Yesung sang live, poor me but i hope i can meet him whenever he's back to SuJu and SS.  And guess what, people around me (my new friends, elf from semarang, we went together in a bus) who sat beside me couldn't even understand the difference.  I was confusedly telling them in panic that Yesung's voice was too nasally perhaps he's sick? but they don't get my point since they never follow Yesung.  Oh LOL.

Uh, it's 2.30 AM here so pardon me if this writing is an utter mess.  I just want to let it off my chest.  I'm not bashing Yesung or anything i only criticizing his singing since i'm too much of a poor fan to hear him continue messing up his singings.

I hope, whatever happened to him, that he won't lose his passion in music and singing.  Hearing him singing falsely and nasally hurt my heart, whatever his reason is.  I hope after his mandatory service ended he could be back to the entertainment industry and be a better singer than he is now.  If he really is still having trouble with his throat, i desperately hope he could be more attentive to himself, making his health his priority.  His spine and his throat's problems are not something he could just brush off, right?